Well there you have it. I managed my goals for the whole month of September, and I must say, that it was probably the most positive month in a very very long time. I even had days where I thought I was through with this eating disorder in it's entirety.
I'm struggling a bit now though, and really want to weigh myself. I know I've put on weight, I can see it all around my mid-section, actually just everywhere, and it's causing great anxiety. I know that if I were to weigh myself however, everything I've just worked so hard to achieve would be undone and I would resume e.d. behaviours, so i'm not going to do that. I'm taking closer inventory of my eating again, preparing protein meals/shakes in advance, being mindful of the cakes and cookies that i'm eating, and am going to have a period where I say no to these. I'm also going to start hitting the weights and treadmill again and see how I can fare for the next month. I need to keep progressing with recovery, and right now that has to take a new turn- so I will reintroduce exercise, while keeping all new practises in place (i.e., no weighing, no calorie or macro tracking etc).
As far as illness goes, I think I may actually be free of ailments- finally!! It's only 6 months later! But hey, i'll take it. And hello spring, oh how I love spring and the warmer weather and longer days. Hopefully all of these components will add to a greater sense of wellness :)
I'm looking forward to October! Another month, a new set of goals, and greater progression towards the value-filled living I wish to be experiencing. My first baby has just had her 5th birthday, so a new season in regard to her life, and consequently ours also. Nothing can change for one person in the family without it effecting the whole unit, but change is good, it brings forth growth and expansion.
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