Spring- New Beginnings

Things are going well this week. I had a lovely semi-silent mindfulness weekend retreat, and greatly benefited from this, despite considering not turning up and being highly sceptical just an hour before I got there. In fact it was so therapeutic that i'm going to try and put aside 30-40mins each day to continue practicing in this manner.

My goals in regard to not weighing, not calorie or macro counting/logging, and reducing body checking are going very well also. I have no idea where my scale is, and I haven't even gone looking for it. I have not added or input any food items anywhere, and am trying to eat intuitively. I find this a little difficult as some times I don't recognise hunger, but later in the day feel ravenous and as though i'm amidst a perpetual binge state. I would feel more comfortable if these calories were taken in across the day instead of right before bed, but i'm not actively doing anything to change that at present. I still find myself body checking but instead of reacting to this, I "simply" accept that this is how I am/look and whilst I don't have to like it (and I don't) I can continue to carry about my day without berating myself and bringing myself down with a flurry of negative thoughts and emotion.

I am considering adopting the practice of yoga in to my week- perhaps once a week just to start. I have experimented with this a couple of times in the past month and have decided that I quite like it. I also find it a means to connecting my mind and body where otherwise they'd remain as separate entities, each trying to dictate the other. I believe that yoga may be the activity that brings about a sense of wholeness to my being, or if nothing other than an increase in flexibility is experienced, then that's okay too. I shall update as my trial pursues.

I am also considering establishing an eating disorder support group, as there is nothing in my area like this, but am a little concerned at the potential degree of interest this will arouse. I do not profess to be a counsellor or specialist, or any 'helping' other, just someone who see's a need/feels a need, and wants to see this met. I will research all I can on the matter i.e. what it makes to be a great facilitator etc but i'm still anxious about the whole thing, and it's not even materializing yet! I do have the desire to see this city achieve a greater level of service and care in regard to eating disorders, in fact, the whole nation, but it's going to take a little more than just me to achieve that lol.

I'm supposed to be starting further graduate study next month also, but still have yet to complete the application form and get that away for approval. I'm somewhat nervous about that too, but I just have to bite-the-bullet so to speak and get on with it.

My first baby is about to turn 5yrs and begin school as well, so many changes happening here at the moment. They are all positive changes though, but changes none-the-less.